“jimmied letters” SWAN SONG
Thank you for following my blog. I have just had two mugs of coffee as I sat reading through your experiences. You have had an awful time but I am pleased that you have found so resolve in Christianity. Me, I don’t go for religion, but in desperate times, I have found myself wanting to believe.
Posted by thedownwardspiralofdickswan | December 11, 2011, 8:27 am
WARNING: NOT A “CHRISTIAN” FRIENDLY READ. It is however a painful story of survival and shame. Read at your own risk.
Your story is a hard read my friend. Reading what you must go through daily is frustration personified. Your life is something akin to peeling away a scab on your heart, and feeling that pain fresh anew each and every day. Your venting is so helpful and therapeutic, I’m sure, and it makes for quite an interesting read. But it is still that cycle of fresh serving of inner pain you swallow each day that most breaks my heart. I have no words to help make your financial troubles go away, as I too am suffering to get back up to where I believe I can be. But there are clear differences between you and I. One, I have family. And two, I have a relationship with a very special part of my soul. And in a way, my soul is speaking with its creator. This connection creates a sense of wholeness, that is just so soothing, and I wish I could share it with you. Being a “Christian” as I know it, comes with a sense of purpose, and self-worth. It gives my life meaning to see and feel what can not be seen or felt with the flesh.
A relationship with God… is hard to explain if you do not understand what it is to be connected to the source of everything. But there is peace here. And a sense of safety and comfort. There is harmony in knowing who you are, and where you belong, and seeing all of life with new eyes. And simply saying that “it’s amazing” well, words alone can not do it justice. Your life seems like a roadmap of pain and shame, and man, to continue following that path is just the way to more of the same.
I have to tell you that I have a love for you, because I do know, in part, what you are going through. But please know that no matter how bad you feel, and are going through, and ALL THE things you do to survive… God still loves you. And if I can love a man I have never even met, how much more a being that created you, and knows you, and helped shape you into the person you are today? And how much more so to that man you will be tomorrow? Your life, if you can start down this ulterior path to self-discovery and finding a connection with your creator, it will transform and change you from the-inside-out. Growth and freedom await you if only you set your feet to the task of walking a life of purpose and love.
I am here if you need to talk. And I am sure that anyone else reading this would be too. With Christians; though we are not perfect; we’re family. And what family do you know that is perfect? But it means you are not alone. It means you have friends. It means you are connected to something. Shed this life of pain, and free yourself from the shame you live with inside, and walk into the light of love and knowledge. It’s warmer in the light… come out of the coldness of your soul and embrace the warmth of Him inside you. You are not alone brother, come home… we will leave the light on for you!
With great love,
Posted by soulblindministry | December 11, 2011, 11:48 am