something greater and bigger than the life you’re living now, or the old life you lived in the past? Is it even possible to be more than yourself; to be more than what the world taught you to be? If I followed the path of life that I was on before, I would be a very different man than I am today. But I didn’t. Life took a dramatic turn for me and handed me a new direction that I never thought or expected to be possible. The philosophies that I built my old life upon were flawed but now I want to be a better person. I want to love more and complain less. Try harder; work harder, but not so much as to lose sight of the simple things that make life so beautiful. I want more close friends and fewer enemies. I want to appreciate this life not only for what it is, but also for the possibilities it presents, and also for those that are hidden from my everyday view. I want my choices to always be right; I want to always do the right thing, even when no one else is looking. And if my choices can’t be right, then I want them to be made for the right reasons. I know life is hard sometimes, but I choose not to make it harder by playing a fool. I find I play the fool too many times in my own life. I make choices based on my feelings at the moment rather than what I know to be right in my heart.
Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, 10 and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him
It is hard sometimes to know the right thing, and to make the right choice, because life has so many different variables, and I also conditioned myself, over the years, to be easily distracted. I’m often my own worst enemy. That is a foolish way to live, I know, and I think I attribute a lot of that to loneliness. And often loneliness equates into emptiness, and emptiness equates into being a void in your life. This void is a great gaping hole in my soul where something more substantial should be… But it’s not.
This emptiness is a great swirling mass of nothingness that sucks everything good in your life into it like; joy, laughter, happiness, love and hope, to name a few. And with these things go more important things, like goals and responsibilities. The void of emptiness is insatiable and it will eat as much as you feed it, and it can never be satisfied, and the more you feed it the hungrier it becomes, stealing all the light in your life from you, like some cosmic black hole, until there’s nothing left in you but a total darkness of the soul.
When I was a child, there was no darkness in my life. No matter how bad things were, they would always get better… at least in my mind. When you’re young you’re resilient. Just like the bones of a child flex and bend and they seem made of elastic and plastic, so too is the hope of a child. A child is resilient to most anything that you put before it. Sure, they cry and have fears, but tears quickly dry and fears fade away in days rather than years. The child remembers more good things and also forgets more bad, and because they know no past they embrace the future with open arms. Not often do you hear about a child going into a deep clinical depression or needing to drown their sorrows in alcohol or other such vices.
|1 Corinthians 13:11
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
Oh to be a child again, to see the world with new and innocent eyes. How great it would be to start a new life without the calluses and scars that weight heavy on my heart. To wash away the sins of my life and to cleanse my mind and consciousness of the things I filled it in with, and to unthink the things I thought. If I could only unsee, unfeel, unhear, unsmell and even untaste the bitterness I have had to swallow for so many years. Then, maybe then I could feel new and clean. But alas, I’m not a child. I’m a man and I am accountable to all my sins of my past; those intentional and unintentional, and even those that arose by my interactions… or the lack thereof.
The Price of Admission
In this life, we only get this one go around. We paid the price of admission, but we don’t get to ride it again. That means you only get this one chance to get it right. I know many people that believe in reincarnation, but if you can’t prove it exists why take the chance?
So if we only get this one life, why waste it? To sit and wallow in your own misery seems like an awful waste of time and energy. Life was meant to be lived. It was meant to have a purpose. What is that purpose? Philosophers and writers have been asking that same question for generations, but who knows who has it right? But what I do know is that on that day the Lord called me, I answered. I didn’t even know it was him at first. It seemed more like the questionings and searching’s of my heart than some great and all-powerful God. In that void of darkness I called my life, I found myself very much alone inside. I was running around from place to place and person-to-person looking to feel and fill-in that void within; hoping that the next move, the next job, the next intimate encounter would lead to a solution. But none of them did.
1 If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.2 Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.3 For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.4 When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.5 Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.6 Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience,7 in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them.8 But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.
Where God lives
God does not live in emptiness. Not that kind of emptiness, anyways. God does not live in self-pity. God does not live in pettiness and lust. God cannot be found in emptiness because everything that God stands for is substantial. His precepts and principles are the root and meat of everything that satisfies the soul. Even if you knew nothing about Christianity or the Bible you would still know what nourishes your soul, because the things He stands for and lives within are the true essence of the things that our hearts most desire. The word of God is not just some set of empty rules set in place to govern and control your life. They are more than just words of wisdom; they are food and sustenance that feeds our hungry soul.
Though the Bible is at sometimes confusing, it is also comforting. It is like chicken soup for the soul. It warms you and fills you up inside. And it makes you feel welcome when you feel so far from home and alone. That is because you’re not alone. You are never alone. It doesn’t matter where your travels take you or even where you try to hide, because you are always only as far away from God as you want to be, because no matter where you go, He’s always at your side. This is a hard fact to comprehend because we cannot see God nor hear him. But I assure you He is still there standing at your side. Even now you are not alone… You are not alone. You are never alone. The love of your Father is reaching out to you. His arms are outstretched and He is calling your name. Can you hear Him? Listen closer. Listen with better ears. Turn off the television. Turn off your radio or MP3 player. Stop talking, stop thinking, and listen. Do not mistake his voice for the sound of wind or rustling leaves, because it is heard in the silence of your heart and stillness of your mind… so just learn to breathe.
Try taking a deep breath and hold it, don’t exhale and do it again, and then again one last time, don’t exhale and fill your lungs three full times in all. Now hold that breath, tense up all of your muscles and exhale completely. Now do that once again. Now clear your mind and focus on the sound closest to you, then focus on a sound a little farther away. Step-by-step focus on the sounds a little farther and farther away until you can hear nothing. Now let your mind go. There is no work; there is no school, no obligations, no children screaming… Only you and peace. This is a form of meditation. In the Bible meditation is a type of reflection. Reflect on His word. Question it, ask yourself what does it mean. Truly seek answers, no matter what they may be. Don’t be afraid to question God. It is not only encouraged. It is commanded to seek answers. Because when you seek, you always find, and what you find is greater than what you are looking for.
Do not expect answers to come all at once. It takes practice and time to listen, and our world is filled with so much noise. There are so many distractions today, like 1000 different voices, all calling out to you with no heed to the other voices. They are all vying for your attention, but you need to practice the art of not listening. Don’t be afraid of the silence. In the quiet, there is nothing but you and your fears. Face your fears. Your fears are your greatest enemy and when you learn to face your enemy you become courageous. And heaven has no place for cowards. In the darkness is where cowards hide. But the brave come out into the light. Do not fear the heat of the sun. God is a fire, and fire burns. Face the flames of your own perdition. Do not squint, do not blink, and do not shrink away. Let the fire, take the sin… Let it burn it all away.
When you were baptized, you were baptized for a reason, to keep the flames of hell at bay. The Holy Spirit is your guide. It is the coolness of your soul. Drink in its glory and God’s fire can never harm you. Drink in the Holy Spirit as cool living water, and you will instead bask in the warmth of His love.
I, like you, have put off the old self and put on the new man. And I refuse to give in to the old ways of me. I will no longer wear the skins of my old life, no matter how familiar it may be. In you O’ Lord I am made anew each and every day. My soul and slate is washed clean. In the blood of your love, I am whole and complete. In you I am made new and I am made clean.
And I pray to you O’ Lord and Father:
Help me O’ Lord to let go of the fear and anger that imprison my heart, to relinquish all childish expectations and live joyfully in the world as it is—not as I wish it or imagine it to be, to be free of the always craven ego, to be released from the endless hungers of the body, to see God in others, to see God in everything, to die without death and merge my consciousness into the cosmic sea of bliss from which I came… This is my soul’s journey. Help me Lord to be one with you in everything. Help me to discover you… in me.THIS IS MORE THAN A BLOG, IT’S A MOVEMENT IN THE MAKING.
Stay tuned, big things are coming! AND if you liked this spread the Word!